The game report started with the customary description of the weather conditions, which were cold but clear.

This week’s team sheet contained a couple of mild surprises (nothing to compare with the cardiac arrest-inducing revelation that Cooper was starting on the wing – sorry Coop, get well soon) as Rino’s own Ivan Drago, Stefan Caulfield, started at right-back. Marshy and Mcmeners must have had a falling out on their car-ride to the game, because Kenny had to put them on separate wings, as far away from each other as possible. Rino’s also welcomed Rob back to the sideline, which was just as well because otherwise we might have talked to the ref.

The game got off to a sluggish start, Desmesh looking a little more sprightly than we remembered them and Rino’s struggling to escape the general shiteness that plagued last week’s performance. We did, however, manage to score on our first attack, Laurie latching on Dylan’s through ball and doing sterling work along the left before crossing to leave Charlie a simple tap in. McMeners and Marshy continued to have lots of possession on the flanks, ably supported by Jordan and Stefan respectively, but the game settled into a generally low-key atmosphere with the help of some fussy refereeing.

Not for the first time this season, Rino’s seemed uncertain about what to do with the amount of time and possession they were afforded by limited opposition and surrendered the ball too easily and too often. This was compounded by the concession of several free-kicks which were, like Laurie’s diet (and this joke), cheap and dangerous. The rising tide of nervousness was, however, quelled on the stoke of half time when Marshy took his time to tee up a perfect lobbed pass (with the pitching wedge that both he and Charlie were credited with using in last week’s report) for Charlie to race on to and slot past the onrushing goalie. And so it was 2-0 Rino’s at half time.

The half-time break robbed the Rino’s players of their momentum and their body heat and the second half was a sluggish affair. Jeff Thom came up big with a great save from a Desmesh free-kick  and when a second set-piece came back off the Rino cross bar, Bligh did well to hack it away before any of Desmesh’s goal-shy forwards could prod home. At the other end, Cyrus was hustling to try and create something and Dylan made some great runs into the corner before getting tired and passing it back to Desmesh.

The already-flailing contest was killed by Rino’s third goal, which started with substitute Sam Chow (Chinese translation: He of the Pink Shoelaces) spotting a good pass to Charlie’s feet. The ball was then dropped off with Lenny, who thread a precise pass through two defenders, leaving John ‘Cascarino’ Marsh with the simple task of playing a one-two with the keeper and tapping home. An afternoon of uninspired entertainment for the watching Cantwell clan was rounded off with a red card for the Desmesh right-back, who fell victim to the man in black’s equal opportunities refereeing,  after questioning first his knowledge of football’s offside laws and then Canada’s discrimination laws. Speaking of The Man in Black, everyone apart from Brent, Dylan and enthusiastic debutant AR-JUNE was able to Walk the (Disciplinary) Line, and Rino’s go into next weekend’s huge tilt against Binger’s with no suspensions and no new injuries.

Three points, three goals, yet another clean sheet for Chinstrap and Hoof and fantastic displays by Nissan M-O-M McMeners and Stefan. Wadey and Frenchy coming back to boost a healthy squad unbeaten in 10 games.

Bingers…you have 4 days to enjoy being unbeaten.
Kenny…you can say it now, this is THE BIGGEST GAME OF THE SEASON

A perfect night for football bar the fact that it was on a Saturday night and in Surrey but none the less Rino’s played out a very comfortable four nil win. Numbers were thin on the ground but it was quality needed not quantity, and we got that in spades.

Kenny again opted for a robust team with the impervious Tyler getting the nod between the sticks. Five star General John Bligh was in command at the back with his first Lieutenant Brent just ahead of him in the trenches. A blend of youth and experience was chosen for full backs with the very composed Sam on the right and Mr. consistent Jordan Haas on the left. A hard working midfield was on show with swashbuckling Laurie Flynn and the very inventive Lenny in the center.

Andrew Wade again covered every blade of grass on the right with Cory forever being a menace on the left. And it was a familiar look up front with

Mr. Hollywood Charlie Carrick and Cyrus the virus.

The match is nearly under way with CAFA 3 men down. It would have been easy for Rino’s to get complacent but that was not going to happen with John Bligh in command of the battle cry. (Did anyone see “Braveheart…”). The first 10 minutes belonged to Rino’s and in particular Andrew Wade. He had 3 chances come his way and was unlucky not to have got one in the onion sack. After Rino’s dominance for the first 10, CAFA suddenly seemed to string a few good moves together and carved out the first corner of the game, but to no avail. Brent cleaning up the mess at the back (His lips miming “not on my watch”…). With only 1 up front, Rino’s full backs were given plenty of ball, as instructed by coach and director of football, Kenny. He also re-jigged the team with Cory moving to top of the left and Jordan on the flank. It immediately payed dividends. With Charlie and Cyrus always snapping at the heals of the back 4 like 2 Jack Russell terriers, there was always a chance that they would cough up the ball at some stage. And that chance fell to Cyrus who duly dispatched with disdain. A relief to all involved. The game was all set for a Rino victory.

Crowd trouble threatened to finish the game early with one of the CAFA “Ultra’s” showing his frustration to the ref with a tirade of abuse reminiscent of Sir Alex Ferguson. He was duly sent to the stands for the duration of the game.

Half time comes with only the slightest of margins separating the teams. The introduction of Stefan and John Marsh did nothing if bolster the team. Stefan was sent on to replace Sam, who had a fine game and continues to get better with each game. John Marsh was sent in to complete an all Irish engine room.

The second half started a lot better for Rino who were a lot more composed and inventive on the ball. The mystro Lenny was on everything through the middle. With Cafa now having 9 players they decided to go 3 at the back and tried playing the off-side. Not a good idea. Jordan Haas picking up the ball on the left and sent a heat seeker over the top to john Marsh who took one touch and saw that the keeper had encroached, and sent a pitching wedge “chip” and the ball nestled into the bottom corner. Delightful football.

From here on it was sexy football of the Ruud Gullit Newcastle United era. Rino continued to pass it around like it was going out of fashion but were missing that final ingredient. That ingredient came in the form of Laurie Flynn. A passage of play that saw 16 passes ended with John Marsh playing Laurie Flynn in who sent an unstoppable shot from an acute angle into the top corner. Game over.

“WAIT, I’M NOT FINISHED!!!!”, says Charlie. Cafa already had the white flag raised but Carrick was not going to be denied his goal which extends his incredible goal scoring form, which could net him the biggest individual prize of the tournament if he keeps it up, the coveted golden boot. A defensive corner was headed away to Carrick on the edge of his own 18. He put the blinkers and the after burners on and headed straight for goal. Avoiding 4 tackles, it was now down to him and the custodian. He waited for him to go to ground and took a loan of John Marsh’s pitching wedge and chipped it over the keeper. Superb individual goal.

The final whistle blows and the away fans (Cyrus’s Dad and Jordan’s girlfriend….) are in full song. They have their money’s worth tonight. With owner Rino looking on from the stands it will be comfort to Kenny as he surely now has funds to buy in new players in the January transfer window to bolster the squad.

After the match Kenny was quick to extinguish any thoughts of overexuberence with his rescinding of the man-of-the-match award telling Setanta sports that “no one deserved it”. You can’t doubt his aspirations for the club.

So, another clean sheet for the back 5 including the keeper officially describes them as “Stingy’. Midfield is becoming more creative and inventive as the weeks pass and up front its raining goals. With players to come back next week there is going to be a headache in picking the team Life is good in Rino FC. Roll on next week. Good thoughts go out to Rob as he still struggles with his “bad back”, hopefully he will be stomping the sidelines next week.

Ominous clouds loomed over Kensington Park South as the teams arrived to contest the latest VMSL Div 1 clash. Rinos, form favourites and especially on song in recent weeks, held high hopes, eager to avenge a loss in the season opener.

Despite widespread relief that the match had been relocated to the better of the baseball fields on offer at Kensington, Rinos appeared slow to adjust to the local, organic surface. In line with the culinary delights on offer at club affiliated sports bar, the Sin Bin, flat, fast and rubbery seem to be qualities the team prefers.

Perhaps the dirty tricks employed by the Vancouver Olympics team also unsettled Rino’s play early on? A sneaky attempt to plant a couple of spies in the Rino’s dressing room before kick-off was foiled by Ken ‘I’ve seen it all before’ Adlof. Despite this embarrassment, the Olympics squad saw fit to delay their entrance to the field. One can only wonder what was going on in the dressing room for so long, though by the look of at least one of the players it is strongly suspected that some form of steroid was involved.

Olympics certainly appeared to be pumped up, fielding a number of mid-season additions including the notorious Serbian shoe shiner of seasons past, and it was they that had the better of the early exchanges. Rino’s battled hard and managed some neat exchanges but Olympic’s keeper, namesake of old Leeds United legend John Lukic, remained barely untested aside from a decent stop from a long range effort from Dylan.

A number of attempts on the Rino’s goal were met by fine saves from man-of-the-match Jeff Thom. Bligh marshaled his troops at the back and attempted to shut down the Olympics attack by launching the ball out of danger and almost out of orbit. One clearance went so high that it almost brought an air hostess down with it. But before long the deadlock was broken, possession was lost, Olympics stole in and tucked the ball in the net.

Rino’s tried to find a response, although it was all looking rather pedestrian until Paul – in what looks to be his last game for the club – pinged an excellent ball out to the left to Dylan who played a perfect ball back across the box which Charlie finished with aplomb.

Cue Sasha the Serbian shoe shiner. A great tackle from Dylan on the edge of the box was judged a foul by referee Miro, and the resulting free kick was nicely curled round the wall and in.

The half time team talk from coach Ken was a tough one. It ended with a rallying cry to take the second half, the prize at stake: a potential move up to first place.

Rino’s responded with a more coherent, compact and generally much improved showing in the second half. The introductions of Lenny, Sam and Cory each providing a boost when it was needed. Though chances were few and far between, tempers flared and a rash of bookings followed. It would take something special to get this much-needed equalizer.

And sure enough it came. A surging attack up the right side, resulted in a corner, and Andrew lined up to take the kick. Meanwhile Charlie and Bligh were setting up a special Andy Carroll inspired move that they have surely been practicing at home. Charlie grabbed on to Bligh and waited for the corner. Wadey sent a great ball in and Charlie put that work

in the gym to good use, propelling Bligh through two defenders and against the ball which then zipped happily into the bottom right of the net. What a goal.

With Bligh’s right boot still sparkling, both teams pressed until the final whistle. Rino’s had the better of the closing stages but couldn’t find that extra impetus to secure a winner.

That’s it then for another week. Best wishes to Paul for his future endeavours, and congratulations to Jeff for his man of the match display.

As kick off approached, a beautiful, sunny day in Vancouver turned grey and chilled as clouds gathered over the Rino’s home turf in Point Grey — surely it must be a clever metaphor. Inside the dressing room, anxiety grew as the Rino’s squad prepared themselves for an important matchup against the table leaders and former premier squad, Norvan.

Just when Rino’s chances looked most grim, general manager, Robert Freedman, announced that his back problems had improved! Was it a sign of better things to come?

Coach Ken

Adloff, much to the delight of Norvan’s strikers, opted for a warm and fuzzy-feeling defensive lineup, made up of Jordan Haas, Brent Hanson, John Bligh and Peter Bohdal. Throughout the game, they presented Norvan with ankle-embracing tackles, offering plenty of material for Norvan’s vocal coaching staff.

The first half was a tight engagement between both sides with several goal-scoring opportunities exchanged. The best of them came from leading goal-scorer, Charlie Carrick – he drove a low cross into the 6-yard box that was narrowly deflected by a Norvan defender leaving Charlie’s shorter and prettier sidekick, Cyrus Greenall, unable to continue his 6-game goal scoring streak (note from author: “F%@$!”). The rest of the half could be summed up with the following: late tackle outside the penalty area by Rino’s; dead ball for Norvan followed by a free kick over the net or into Tyler’s hands. Rinse. Repeat. The first half ended 0-0 with both sides unsatisfied as neither had really tested the keeper.

The second half started off with an eager Rino’s offense that delivered several counterattacks. The best came from a well-timed through pass from Charlie that a sprinting Cyrus managed to receive and touch past Norvan’s keeper. Unfortunately, a Norvan defender swept in and cleared the ball for a corner. On the ensuing play, a two-man corner led to a low, far post shot that just barely glanced the glove of Norvan’s keeper. The ball, now slightly redirected, hit the far post and bounced across the goal line until a Rino forward struck the ball only to have the Norvan keeper make another acrobatic stop.

Rino’s hard work eventually paid off after a brilliant diagonal pass from Dylan Smith that found Charlie Carrick inside Norvan’s 6 yard box. Charlie first-timed the shot into the back of Norvan’s net. 1-0, Rino’s. The goal charged up Norvan’s attack as they pressed nearly all of their players into Rino’s third of the field. Rino’s defense admirably weathered the proverbial storm and frustrated Norvan’s attack until a dangerous cross from Norvan’s wing landed on the foot of a Norvan attacker inside the 6-yard box who first-timed the shot into Rino’s goal. Score 1-1.

With only a few minutes left, each side traded chances but neither would test the keeper. Rino’s left the game with a hard-fought draw, but unsatisfied as 3 points were nearly within grasp. By the Norvan coach’s own admission, Rino’s defense “took no prisoners” – an apt description of the entire match.

Week 7 saw Rino’s take on NK Hrvat at Van Tech turf in Vancouver at 8:00 pm. In preparation for the Friday night lights, some of the lads met before the game for a bite of pre-game supper and playful conversation with the waitress. Charlie loaded up on electrolytes, while Brent, already coming off a cold, ate what looked like three week old BP chicken parmesan. This proved to be a mistake as he had to evacuate no less than four times before the game (luckily, there were two porta-potties at

the pitch; one had to be razed in order to prevent the spread of what would have otherwise been a killer mutant virus following Brent’s last pre-gamer).

The game kicked off with Jeff Thom in net and Cooper, Bligh,

Brent and Jordan in the back line. Andrew, Dylan, Peter and Paul were in the midfield with the dynamic duo of Cyrus and Charlie up front. The match started poorly for Rino’s, with a lot of missed balls and less than characteristic defense (Coach Kenny nearly loosing his voice from yelling “don’t dive in” so many times), allowing Hrvat some early possession deep in Rino’s half. One particular instance saw Jeff give the ball away just outside the 18, perhaps just to challenge himself with an early breakaway?

Once things settled down Rino’s was able to tally a couple of notches before halftime (the soccer kind, not the “Ultra Violet” kind). The first goal started with a solid challenge from Wade in the middle, then a pass to Cyrus who took it out wide and crossed shot the ball at the net with some help from a confused Hrvat defender who hammered it home just to be sure. The second goal started with a magnificently placed pass from Dylan to Charlie, who calmly tucked it far side pass the keeper. A couple of bright periods of football in an otherwise mostly frantic game. Reinforcements came in the form of Vinny Martin before the break; Peter having had to leave the pitch briefly to reapply his mascara before returning to the game.

The second half of the game resembled more of a tennis match at times than soccer and highlighted the general lack of discipline in the game, both technically and emotionally – despite the referee giving 147 “last warnings” over the course of 90 minutes. There were a few guys shown cards. One of particular note went to Charlie for pushing a player after the whistle (although he later admitted he was just really upset about having to miss his performance in Supernatural, “Live Free or Twihard”……Seriously?). Cyrus was also surprised to get a yellow card for pretending to be Peter, a crime punishable in most developed countries and clearly outlined in the FIFA rulebook.

As the game wound down, Hrvat pushed an extra man up front, but to no avail for the home team. Rino’s made a couple late subs of their own with Laurie and Marsh coming on to help seal the deal. After 90 minutes, the final score stayed at 2:0, Rino’s tallying another clean sheet and 3 points.